Consciously Create Your Goals in 2014! – NoHoArtsDistrict.com

This is a fabulous post from NoHoArtsDistrict.com!  So powerful and so timely…. Enjoy!

 

Follow these steps to create the new year that’s waiting for you:

1. Identify what you do NOT want – this demonstrates the contrast of what feels better for you and gives you the clarity needed for step 2.

2. Identify what you DO want – focus your mind and thoughts on the ideal, the ultimate desire of your heart.

3. Find the strong feeling place of your desire – what does it feel like to have what it is that you want? What would it feel like to be standing in the appreciation of living your desire? Of fulfilling your dream? Of being your ultimate potential?

4. Expect, believe, and allow – let go and trust that the Divine Intelligence of the Universe has already delivered, or is the process of delivering the essence of what you want, for the supreme good of all.

5. See, speak, and feel only the goal of what you want – live in the already done, already accomplished feeling! Act “as if” you are living and experiencing your ideal, ultimate desire.

6. Daily and frequently visualize the ultimate, impossible you and what you desire – with a strong feeling state!

7. Daily and frequently visualize your ideal day, with the feeling!

8. Daily, frequently, visualize your ideal life, with the feeling!

9. Daily, frequently, visualize your goals as accomplished!

10. FEEL THE EXCITEMENT, GRATITUDE, APPRECIATION, AND EXHILARATION OF LIVING YOUR IDEAL LIFE! – What would you be like? How would you act and behave? How would you talk? What would you do? Make it more real in your mind than anything else!

via Consciously Create Your Goals in 2014! – NoHoArtsDistrict.com.

Love, anyway

love-anyway-shevon-johnsonFor those of you who read this column regularly, you know that I write and speak from a deeply personal place.  It is my sincerest wish that I can translate the lessons that I have been given in my life into a medium that can help you.  At least, that’s the plan.  I often make an example out myself unintentionally.  Recently, in my day job, I rescued a cat that had been stuck in a wood pile for several days.  The little creature repaid my kindness by nearly biting through my finger.  After ten days of guy-wrenching antibiotics, the lesson to the men on my team: Don’t be like me; wear thicker gloves.  (The cat’s doing fine, by the way, and has found a forever home… )

And other times, I’ll share here a particular struggle in which I find myself.  Lately, I’ve found myself in a Battle Royale with my own fear.  More specifically, with a deeply rooted fear of intimacy and of trust with another human being.  I’ve been standing on the precipice of something great and truly amazing – the chance for an exceptional life.  And yet, I can’t dive in.  I can’t accept what’s in front of me.  Of course, this relies on the participation of a partner and the trust that I will be loved and cared for unconditionally.  But therein lies the rub, I suppose.  I can’t accept that even on the outside chance this ends up hurting like hell, in the meantime, it will be extraordinary and well worth the gamble.  For you regular readers, you know that I preach that Fear is the opposite of Love.  In Fear there is no Love, and in Love there is no Fear.  Only the ones who have stood here on the edge before know that making this one particular leap is the most terrifying thing that you can ever do – that proverbial “Leap of Faith.”

Upon finding myself in this dilemma, I did what (I’m sure) everyone does: I came home, poured myself a glass of chianti and cried my eyes out.  I sobbed and begged for guidance: What do I DO?  What CAN I do?  Why the fuck am I so petrified?  As I sat there in a state of abject pain, The Voice broke through.  It’s message: “Love, anyway.”  Well, I have to say that that stopped me cold.  The Voice was right, of course (as always… it’s so smug sometimes…).  What else is there to do but love?  What other answer is there?  If I didn’t want to be scared anymore, isn’t the most obvious answer to just love what I was scared of?

I don’t have to tell you that this is easier said than done.  You probably also won’t be surprised that I haven’t made my leap of faith yet – gosh, I’m being so human.  But I’m getting closer.  And when I finally close my eyes and jump, I know that I will be safe.

Fumbling Towards Happily Ever After

il_fullxfull.346554233So often messages for my clients seem to be clustered into themes.  One week will be when all the divorcees call me. Then next is when everyone has a job crisis.  Followed by the week everyone seems to be having issues with their teenaged children.  It’s uncanny really.  But recently all the folks who think their love lives are “stuck” have been beating down my door.  I know we’ve all been there – some of us (me included) have been there more times that we care to admit.  Emboldened by the phrase, “But I just don’t know how to BE in a relationship!!!” they call me in frustration and desperation.  And I think I repeatedly let them down.  Not because I don’t assuage their fears, but because the answer is so simple and yet so complicated.  And here it is:  No one (and I mean NO ONE) actually knows how to be in a relationship.  Period.  The end.

Allow me to explain things a little bit more.  We have suffered a Disneyfication of marriage and have all been operating under the delusion that that we’ll walk into a ballroom (or run up the turret of some castle, or walk into a board meeting, etc.), lock eyes with Mr./Miss. wonderful and BAM! Married happily ever after.  No matter who you are, you subscribe to this fantasy to some degree.  What fairy tales (or anyone else for that matter) don’t seem to cover is what happens after the honeymoon.  I mean how the heck are you suppose to actually LIVE with this S.O.B.?   Maybe she leaves shoes everywhere and always wants to talk to the cat like its human (guilty on both counts, here).  And maybe he obsesses about NASCAR and thinks good sex is when you watch Seinfeld after he rolls off of you.  This, friends, is called real life.  Any maybe you’re significant other doesn’t have these particular issues, but I’m sure he or she has some other ones you could name without trying.  Being in a relationship with another human being is hard work.  Why?  Because you’re two living, breathing beings with your own egos, fears, attitudes and opinions.  And sometimes yours won’t mesh with your partner’s.  This doesn’t mean that your relationship is necessarily broken.  It just means you’re human and so is your spouse.

It’s a good idea, always, to take stock of what’s happening in your relationship.  Are you just frustrated or truly feeling undervalued and ignored? Are you white-knuckling through some deal-breakers or just annoyed that his socks are on the floor (again)? Are there harmful behaviors and/or addictions present or does her love of ‘N Sync just make road trips a cringe-fest? If you’re dealing with truly harmful or neglectful behaviors, then it might be time to evaluate the viability of your relationship.  But if you’re just irritated at your significant other’s quirks, well, welcome to being a grown up.  Real, loving, long-lasting relationships involve relinquishing control, removing the ego and loving your partner unconditionally and unabashedly.  In the face of true love all the other stuff becomes background noise and tolerable.  At the end of the day, you’re two perfectly imperfect people trying to make something extraordinary.  And you know what, it happens all the time.

So take heart, dear ones.  You’re not alone.  Sure, some people seem to be better at the relationship thing than others, but I assure you, they’re fumbling towards happily ever after just like the rest of us.

My “Aha” Moment and Jim Carrey


Aha moments come in all shapes and sizes.  They can be a tiny spark of imagination or they can be earth-shattering epiphanies.  I would say that my recent Aha moment fell somewhere toward the latter part of the spectrum.

The other day I was multitasking my way through my to-do list with the TV in the background intent on keeping one ear open for Oprah’s Lifeclass.  I know that some of you may have stopped reading right there and began rolling your eyes.  Well, knock it off.  It’s a great show.

Anyway, this particular episode, “Lesson Three: You Become What You Believe,” featured several celebrities who have followed their belief in themselves because they knew that, above everything, they were meant to succeed in their chosen field.  One of these people is Jim Carrey.  During the show he talked about an innate sense of inner knowing about his future success.  He speaks about it in terms of visualization, but I believe its much bigger than that.  It was divine guidance (inner knowing) combined with  his willingness to follow it and trust it that allowed him to gain success.  He had the dream, he saw it and he followed his gut (aka divine guidance/inner knowing) to take the steps to get him where he needed to go.

And here’s the Aha moment; he said, “You can’t just visualize it and then go eat a sandwich.”  This is the difference between Jim Carrey and people who have not successfully employed their favorite self-help (read: law of attraction) teachings.  Once you have that vision, you have to act on it from a place of divine inspiration.

Very successful contemporary books and movies will have the average person believe that they can simply sit down for an hour every day and think about how they can become millionaires and then POOF, they’re rich.  Yes, the Universe wants you to have everything you desire and more, but it doesn’t work like that.

Why? Here’s why:

1.  The ego gets in the way during visualization

No, seriously.  It does.  When all you do is sit and visualize the life you want, you often pull those desires from a place of ego, meaning superficial.  In order to get the ego out of the way, you need to think about what it would mean to you to have the life you want (my own lifecoach, Susan Hamilton, asks me this all the time). It could mean security, freedom, financial stability or health.  Think about what having the life you want would actually mean to you.  When you do this, it comes from a place of divine inspiration.  You’re thinking about things that make you excited, you’re igniting your passion, you’re following your bliss.  The inspiration to take the next step (e.g., get off the couch and stop eating that sandwich) will naturally come from there.

2.  Visualization is extremely limited

Think about this for a second – how many times have you heard someone who appears to be very fortunate proclaim, “This is beyond my wildest dreams?”  I know I’ve lost count.  If these people had limited their desires to just what they could imagine in that limited moment from a limited perspective, they would have gotten a limited outcome.  Visualization engages the human mind (the ego mind) and tends to neglect the presence of things like miracles or things that it has not already experienced (which, are often miracles).  It also prevents us from focusing on our inner excitement.  Inner excitement is just a hyper version of intuition.  Following that excitement means that you’re following your intuition (remember: divine guidance).  Following that intuition will lead you down the path of success and enable you to find you’re life’s work or life’s passion.

3. Visualization causes you to focus only on the ending

During Lesson Three of Oprah’s Lifeclass, Jim Carrey also said that he wrote himself a $10 million check and post-dated it three years.  In three year’s time, he found out that he was going the be making $10 million on his next movie.  This is an amazing story, and I’m sure that a lot of people watching that show got out their checkbooks and did the very same thing.  But here’s what I think is really going on.  Jim Carrey didn’t put that check in his wallet and pine over it for three years wondering when he could cash it.  He did the very thing that was going to be making him the $10 million because, really, it wasn’t simply about the money.  Having that money meant he was a successful actor and that he was living his true passion and the highest expression of himself.  The money was simply symbolic of that passion and that success.  He wasn’t focused on the endgame, which was the check.  He was focused on getting up everyday and working at his craft because he knew innately that that was what he was meant to do.

So what does all of this mean?  It means you need to stop simply visualizing a way to make the Universe bend to your will.  Don’t visualize yourself being a successful writer and then never write.  Don’t visualized that recording contract and then never sing.  First, think about, and I mean REALLY think about, what having the life you want will mean.  Will it mean that you are stable, healthy, famous or an astronaut, singer, actor or writer?  What will it MEAN to you?  Once you get clear on what it means to you, you will get clear on what you NEED to do.  You will get inspired to move in one way or another.  Trust that.  You will be building faith in yourself and faith in the ability to manifest the things in your life that are truly meaningful to you.

Love and Light,

Heather

Faith – Lost and Found

I have a confession to make: I’ve lost faith.  I’ve lost faith in myself, in my abilities and in my place in the divine order of things.  I’ve felt lost, confused, frustrated and listless.  I’ve lost touch with my true self in the midst of all of this self-doubt.  In short, I’ve lost my path.

Or I thought I did.  You see, faith can be a tricky thing.  Just because you think you’re lost, that doesn’t mean that the Universe hasn’t held that faith for you.  It’s just waiting for you to surrender.  When you surrender to the Universe, you commit yourself to true Faith (yes,with a capital “F”).  Bashar, an intelligence channeled by Darryl Anka, tells us that it is not our “job” as humans is not to “plan” – that’s a job for our higher selves.   Our job is to listen, to react, to trust, to follow the direction of our higher selves.  In other words – let go, surrender.  It is in the surrendering of our need to control and our need to always know what’s next that we can rediscover our Faith.

After all, when things seem the most out of control, that is when the Universe is most in control.  See, you don’t have to drive all the time.  Just enjoy the ride.

Love and light.

To Trust and Let Go


For Email Newsletters you can trust

This is a classic case of not practicing what I preach.  I tell my clients everyday to trust the Universe and let go of ego.  But when faced with my own uncertainty and personal tribulations, I immediately went into panic mode.  I tried to micromanage every aspect of my “crisis,” meticulously plotting my next steps and how things should end up if I did X, Y and Z.  And then I realized something.  None of the “plans” I was making actually resonated with me.  I was planning just to plan, and my head was spinning.  When I actually got quiet, I realized that these “plans” that I was working on, while logical and thorough, weren’t plans for me.

The Universe has another plan for me.

And I have no idea what that is.

But you know what, it doesn’t matter.  At the time when you feel the most out of control is the time when the Universe is the most IN control.  So stop trying to micromanage how you’re going to get from Point A to Point B.  If you trust and allow miracles to happen, you might find that you skip over Point B altogether and head straight to Point M.  Your ONLY job is to trust, and to follow directions.  If you can trust the cues that Universe gives you (also called your intuition – Yes! You have that!), and follow those, its like a road map to your destiny.  Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?

As my good friend Eileen told me, “If it doesn’t turn out how you wanted it, that usually means that it’s going to turn out better.”  Yes.  I quite like the sound of that.