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Remember, dear ones, meditate.
Humanity’s awakening has been divinely promised and is at hand. Nothing can prevent it because not only is it God’s Will, which is always achieved, but it is now also humanity’s collective will, and because you were given free will your will is always honored. Until quite recently individual wills, divided and confused as they were, had made humanity’s collective will very difficult to discern. It was collectively unstable, changeable, confused, conflicted, and chaotic, but now it is coming beautifully into alignment and is determinedly seeking world peace, person by person. Although, if you pay too much attention to the gloom and doom on the news media, you might well believe that nothing much has altered, and that humanity’s endless dance with conflict and betrayal continues unabated.
However, over the last several decades, with the vast increase in educational opportunities for large sections…
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It’s confession time. My time to confess, that is. I’ve spent the last week positively crawling out of my skin, energy wild and erratic. This happens every so often, but this time was off the charts. Nothing would settle me. I tried going for a walk, grounding, eating a heavy meal, meditating, taking a nap, reading, watching Netflix. I even tried cleaning my kitchen in a last-ditch effort to prove to myself that I could actually complete a task. Result: half-cleaned kitchen. I couldn’t find relief and I wracked my brain to try and figure out what was going on. Hormones? Astrological tail-spin? Solar flares? Low blood-sugar? Existential crisis? No, No, No, No and maybe….
The truth is that there was really nothing “wrong” and that’s what I want to convey to all of you. The truth is that the unsettled feeling that we all get in the pit of our stomachs is sometimes just gas. But other times, like today, its the feeling of standing on the precipice, of feeling the event horizon of something extraordinary. That feeling doesn’t mean you have to “DO” anything. You just have to “BE” and allow the giant tidal wave of amazing universal energy to wash over you. This can be hard to do, trust me. My mother used to tell me that I had an “Uber-A” personality. Sitting still and letting stuff happen isn’t exactly my forte. Nor, am I guessing, is it for any of you (we’re friends for a reason, after all).
And so the crawling, crazy, slightly manic feeling doesn’t need medicating or analyzing or fixing. You have been the architect of your life the whole time and it’s been moving forward at a maddeningly beautiful pace (I can feel some of you start to object – so let me stop you and say that it absolutely HAS). That feeling of not knowing what to do, and not knowing what’s next isn’t cause to chuck the whole thing in, its time to pause and look at this amazing feat and all of the things that you’ve created. And in that space of reflection, you can find peace.
As spiritual beings, we abhor stagnation – our lives are all about shifting and learning and growing. Of course, on a entirely human level, we often crave control, stability, a sense of security and some degree of predictability. I mean, change is scary, right? What if you, *gasp*, DIED?!? No wonder so many of us have a white-knuckle grip on our need for control.
It stands to reason, then, if you’re experiencing a bout of significant shifting and growing, you might feel off-kilter, scared or just plain stressed out. These spiritual changes often come disguised as significant life events like losing a job, ending a relationship, moving or incurring unexpected large expenses. These events aren’t the Universe knocking us down and taking our lunch money, but are designed to get our attention and move us toward a new path. For some of us, we may get these “plot twists” every few years or so. For others, we may get them every other month. Of course, this can be overwhelming and exhausting if you’re viewing them as punishment. However, it is important to remember that lessons or shifts are neutral from a Universal perspective. That is, the Universe doesn’t assign “good” or “bad” connotation to lessons as they are simply the vehicle to our growth. It is we humans who view things like losing a job or breaking up with a significant other as “bad” and winning the lottery as “good.” The Universe doesn’t attach such labels.
So if these things aren’t “good” or “bad” then why do we feel such stress when the unexpected happens? This goes back to our human, ego-driven need to be stable, secure and ultimately have control over our immediate circumstances. But, guess what… the need for control is an illusion and a human construct that does us more harm than good. We fight wars out of our need for control. We lose sleep over our need for control. We fight with loved ones over our need for control. Control is diametrically opposed to the Universal constants of growing and shifting.
As difficult as it can sometimes be, when we find ourselves in the thick of it, we must take a step back and look at the larger picture. When something ends, the Universe rushes in to fill the vacuum; allow this to happen. Don’t hang on to the old, stagnant patterns. Allow these things to flow. Granted, this is easy when the flow feels more like a lazy river on a summer day, than an intense roller coaster ride. But hey, roller coasters are fun, too. Remember, it’s all about perspective. So let go, and throw your hands up in the air; and if it gets a little intense, it’s ok to scream your head off. Just remember, that no matter what, you’re always going forward.
Over the past several years, I’ve needed to get really good at owning my, well… owning my s#!t. Not only so that I can help my clients own theirs, but so that I can be a happier, healthier, more well-adjust human being. That’s the plan anyway. Whether that certain brand of personal baggage looks like pain or anger, personal shadows or the gut-wrenching fear of a broken heart, I’ve had to work on embracing it all. I have to own my faults, my imperfections and the fact that no matter how hard I try, my body will never look Gisele Bundchen’s. But there’s more than meets the eye here. It’s more than surging bravely forward into the gaping maw of an uncertain world. It’s all about accepting these “flaws” as my own and really, truly understanding that I am not perfect and in that realization comes liberation. Which is strange, right? To admit imperfection and flaws makes ones vulnerable. But there is real, appreciable personal freedom in understanding and embracing one’s own vulnerabilities. It comes with a sense of profound personal power.
I know that some of you are reading this and thinking, “Heather, dear, how is vulnerability powerful?” That sure does sound like a conundrum, especially from the conventional standpoint that revealing ones vulnerability somehow relinquishes power. Why show weakness to someone who might abuse it? However, by embracing vulnerability, you are acknowledging, even loving, the pieces of yourself that are imperfect or scary or crazy or broken. You ultimately own it all. No one can use those “imperfect” pieces to extort your emotions or shame you or exert power over you. It’s all yours.
When we don’t embrace these pieces of ourselves, we are ultimately denying ourselves love. In the context of external relationships, we end up offering only small portions of who we really are. This creates a provisional relationship, one in which the best we can hope for is to survive on the scraps of love that others can show us. After all, how can someone else love us completely if we can’t love ourselves? This externalizes both our love and our power until we are literally giving our power away – selling to the lowest bidder. We withhold, so they withhold; this creates a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum, so we find ourselves compromising and giving in just to feel loved. We fill that void with nonsense until we are so disempowered, we would do anything to feel safe, whole and loved. But what if we just stopped running from the darkness just for a moment? This is counterintuitive to most people; but embracing your faults and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the greatest source of personal power you can choose.
This is not an easy process. To voluntarily look at darkness in another person is terrifying, let alone when we look at it within ourselves. So start where you are. Start small. The next time you find yourself in the midst of self-critique, stop and stare. What is that? Who’s in there? Can that “flawed” piece of you be loved? The truth – the answer – is, yes.
I have a confession to make. I’m an introvert trying to hack it in a extrovert’s world. And for a long time, I was in denial about this. I just thought I was “sensitive.” That wasn’t even the half of it. I realized that when it took me two full days to recover from the rigors of my work week that something wasn’t right. I mean, is it healthy to have consecutive Netflix marathons while shunning all human contact? No. No, it’s not. So I began to change how I dealt with the energetic gauntlet that I walked through everyday in an effort to be a healthier, happier person.
There are a lot of misconceptions out there about what it means to be an introvert. I thought I would share my experiences with you to give you an idea of how it relates to me. It’s entirely possible that these will resonate with you, or maybe you’ve had your own experiences, or maybe you think I’m full of it. Regardless, here you go:
- I need to spend a lot of time alone in nature in order to recharge. If I bring a friend with me, they are going to be someone who shares my reverence for nature as a sanctuary.
- I am not shy. I am not cold. I am not disinterested. I am merely calculating the energetic cost of a conversation with you. Sometimes I’m just not up to it. Don’t be offended. It’s not you, it’s me. Ok, maybe it’s you a little bit.
- I am careful about who I let into my life. Some people are harder to be around in an energetic sense. Letting the “takers” into my life is a recipe for disaster. I’ve had to get really good at boundaries (more on why boundaries are good later on…).
- I have five close friends and that’s it (well, along with my family and the eventual addition of a significant other). These people are given unabridged access to the true me. They have earned the right to bear witness to my story. And in turn I love them unconditionally. It’s not that I don’t have other friends, or I’m a recluse (ok, that was a white lie), it’s just that I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to be a social butterfly.
- I am a giver. I recognize that I am also spiritually of service and in service. If I love you, I will give freely and unabashedly and unconditionally. In the wrong way, this fosters codependency and the kinds of relationships you see on reality tv. But when done consciously, this becomes a path to energetic freedom and true love.
So that’s my experience in a nutshell. For those of you can’t identify with this, you may be thinking, “Oh. My. God. What a neurotic train wreck.” And you would be wrong. Very wrong. It’s taken me a long time to become comfortable enough in my own skin to look honestly at myself. This is who I am. On this road to self-discovery, I’ve needed to learn how to handle living in an energetically expensive world (aka, and Extrovert’s World). What do I mean by that? I mean a place that compulsively over-shares, under-values, over-reacts and under-thinks. I’m not saying that all extroverts are like this, I’m saying this is the kind of frenetic world in which we live and in which extroverts looooove.
How do I cope? I’ll share with you what I do to keep my batteries charged and my sanity intact. Please feel free to chime in!
- I practice self-care. Ah, the lost art of self-care. No one does this enough anymore. We give until the well is dry and then wonder why we’re basket cases. So, get a massage or a manicure. Or at the very least lock yourself in a room for five minutes and breathe. This, often gets me through my day. Also, naps.
- I connect with God/The Universe/The Divine. It doesn’t matter what you call It. All It cares about is that you connect in. I have a daily meditation practice that gets me there. I do this every morning (ok, almost) and it is amazing what falls into place when you choose to put this practice first.
- I take care of myself. I’ve needed to get really picky about what I eat, how I sleep, how I exercise and how I treat my body. Not just because it’s the healthy thing to do, but because when my world goes sideways, if my body is fit, I can cope so much easier. If I neglect this, I just white-knuckle through life. Having a good store of natural energy allows me to go much farther when things get too effing crazy.
- I have good boundaries. Ok, this was a hard one, and in many ways I’m still working on it. It means having to say “no” when I really need to say “no.” It means cutting out the takers and the energy vampires. In some cases, it’s meant ending friendships and romantic relationships. This is a tough one, since introverts feel like we are inflicting harm when we don’t give into the whims of another. The only harm we inflict is on ourselves. Be brave, fellow introverts!
Being introverted does not mean that you are a recluse or that you hate people or that you’re crazy. All it means is that you channel and handle personal energy in a different way. This also means that you need to learn how to handle existing in a world that feels as though its always trying to beat the energetic crap out of you without losing your mind. I hope I’ve been able to help. As always, if you have questions or need a session, send me an email.
Love and light,